Conflict Mediator

Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.
William James

During my career, as DeROSE Method specialist, I have found out that everyone is unique and with a unique perception of themselfs and of the surrounding world. It is inevitable that each human being ends up with a unique vision of facts and events in life.

In a utopic world those differences should help us to think differently, to learn about new perspectives and feel inspired to be more flexible, wise and happy in Life. Unfortunately that is not the reality in most organisations, companies, projects and more importantly, not even in families, friendships and relationships.

But why? Why is it so dificult to deal with a different perspective?

The deep reason for this inner struggle, many times derives from a lack of self-confidence, self-knowledge and self-respect. Because if we don’t have that positive relationship with ourself, then it becomes impossible to have it with others….
Regardless of this well known fact, different perspectives on the same subject can still be managed in two different ways or paths : by the path of Conflict fuelled by disagreement or by the path of Emphaty to grows our mindset and perspectives.

One of the most important triggers to avoit and manage conflict it is to:

Think with the head of the other.
Professor DeRose

But that sounds really dificult and sometimes impossible to achieve if we are amidst of a conflict. Emotions became stronger that the search for clarity and we start to have behaviours that we sometimes don’t even recognise ourselves in it.

That is where and when I can contribute with my expertise and experience. I have crossed paths by interacting and working with human beings in a large diversity of contexts, cultures, locations and needs, and I identified patterns and therefore a path to mediate conflicts : if we can connect the deep believes and values of the people involved in a conflict, it is possible to find a mutual solution.
Even if the conflict is about something very racional and logical, the most effective solution is always to aligned the emotions and believes of the human beings involved.

The How it can be done:

All parts jointly involved in this Mediation Process:

Understanding the source of the conflict during a first Skype meeting.
Listening to the different parts involved separately (by video call or personally upon client’s preference).
Assessing the believes and values, that will make it possible to connect the people involved in the conflict.
Scheduling a meeting with both parts to clearly bring out the values, emotions and beliefs that they have in comum.
Starting a conversation with rules of equal time to speak with me mediating the conversation. (may it be in person or by video call).

All parts separately involved in this Mediation Process:

Scheduling a meeting with the client. Listening to his perspective on the conflict.
Listening to the different parts involved separately (by video call or personally upon client’s preference)
Assessing the believes and values, that will make it possible to connect the people involved in the conflict.
If there is no possibility of conversation then meetings will be scheduled separately to negotiate all conflict points and terms until achieving a solution. (may it be in person or by video call).
(The number of meetings needed will depend on each case.)

Single part involved in this Mediation Process:

Scheduling a meeting with the client.
Listening to his perspective on the conflict.
Assessing the believes and values, that make possible to connect with the people involved but having the single perspective of the client as a base.
Guide the client through each meeting with the counter part focusing on how to achieve a solution by identifying the values and beliefs of the others. By thinking with the head of the other person; by quitting the drive for competition; by engaging in conversation as one self-connects with the soft skills needed before even starting to look for a solution.
(The number of meetings will depend on each case.)

To Whom it can be done:

Personal Conflicts: All kind of disagreements between members of the same family | Friends | Ex-partners | Divorcees

If you are going through a conflict in life and identify with my method of Mediating Conflict, feel free to contact me. I am willing to offer you a 20min video call that will allow us to identify the conflict so we can choose together the best way to start walking the path of “accordance and resolution”.